you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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