East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
