You can't motorboat a personality
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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