Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
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