Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
