I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
