I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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