i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
