Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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