Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The air was thick with penises
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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