How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
