I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
