Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
