theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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