I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize