Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
