there was a trapeze. enough said
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
