Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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