I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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