He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
