omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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