what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
