sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
