# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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