I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
