I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
