I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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