I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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