what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
