is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
