i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
