Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
