I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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