New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
