i already hear my dad disowning me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
