I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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