batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
