great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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