you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
