Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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