you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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