Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dick very happy bro
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
