you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
