awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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