when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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