I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
