somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
