Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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