I want to have your abortion
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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