i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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