Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
