Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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