Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
