You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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