I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
