You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
