i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
