how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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