We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
