I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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