if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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